Jolyon & Michelle Wedding

Wedding Etiquette

Do's:

1. RSVP.
If there's anything that gets on brides and grooms' nerves before the wedding, it's guests failing to RSVP in a timely manner. RSVP as soon as humanly possible. Within a couple of weeks, send it back, even if the deadline is far off. It's just good manners, and it's essential to determining how much the wedding will cost. There is so much expense to planning, and most of that expense is dictated by the numbers on the guest list.

2. If you were invited to the ceremony, don't just show up for the reception.
The ceremony is the most important part, adding that guests should make all efforts to attend. Even when the invitation bears those three little words, “full Catholic Mass”, it’s in poor taste to show up to the open bar without first attending the main event.

3. Dress as the style of the invitation suggests.
If it’s a casual invite with sea shells and sand dollars, we're probably not talking long silk dresses. And on the flipside, if it is gilt-engraved and scripted and formal, we're probably not talking cotton sundresses. If you're unsure of the dress code, ask someone familiar with the wedding, perhaps a bridesmaid or member of the bride's family, but not the bride herself. She has her own dress to worry about.

4. Arrive at the ceremony on time.
Leave plenty of time to get to the wedding itself, even enough time to get lost on the way! If you must be late, there's protocol for that, too. Don't think, “I'll slip in while the bride is coming up the aisle”. No! If you're really late, stand in the back or slip quietly into a back pew or row once the processional is completely finished.

5. Send a gift, even if you can't attend.
Etiquette dictates that if you were invited, you owe the couple a gift, even if you can't make it to the wedding.

6. While we're on the topic of gifts, shop from the registry.
If you don't, it comes off as “I knew what you wanted but I didn’t care.” or “I had this laying around and I'm re-gifting.”

7. Sit at your assigned table.
There's a lot of thought that goes into these seating arrangements. Yes, the bride and groom actually spent time thinking about the various relationships their guests have to one another, and there could be a very good reason the cute guy you want to sit next to is at the other end of the room. Maybe his crazy ex-girlfriend will cause a scene and take you out for flirting with him. Who knows? Only the bride and groom, so don't mess with the seating.

8. Bring an appropriate guest (if you have actually been invited with a guest, that is -- but we'll get to that in the Don'ts).
If you have a sulky boyfriend who will keep you in the corner all night, or one with an unpredictable temper after too many Jack and Cokes, leave him at home.

FOR OUR DEAR GUESTS

Don'ts:

1. If you weren't invited with a guest, don't show up with one.
Do not pencil your significant other's name onto the RSVP card, and do not call and ask the bride for a +1. It is just beyond not okay. Once the bride and groom have come to their decision, it is what it is. Asking them to change is disrespectful, and it puts them in an awkward position.

2. Yes, the no bringing uninvited guests rule includes your kids.
People think, “Oh, this wedding would be great chance for everyone to meet my new baby! Or to see my kids!” No, just don’t bring an uninvited child. The couple may not have the space and the budget, or they may just prefer not to have children present; they are allowed to have an adults-only wedding.

3. Don't dress to compete.
Even if you worked out all spring, look better than you ever have before, and are dying to show off your beach-ready bod, a wedding is not the time. If your personal style tends toward the revealing, tone-it-down. And don't, don't, don't wear white.

4. Don't be disrespectful of the couple's religious or cultural traditions.
That might mean covering your shoulders in church or temple, or being quiet during a ritual you don't quite understand. When those kinds of things are going on, be quiet and you pay attention. This also means not using your phones during the ceremony.

5. Don't be all about your own wedding.
If you're getting married soon after the wedding you're attending, congratulations! Today, however, belongs to the bride of the moment. Consider your own wedding to be off topic.

6. Don't leave before the cake is cut.
It's an old rule, but there's a good reason for it: it's considered a quiet sign to elderly guests that it's okay to leave. That’s when it's acceptable for you to depart as well.

Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/17/wedding-etiquette-the-dos_n_879354.html

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